Horoscopes for January 2012

Ahhhh… the mists clear and the spirits return. What wonders will they reveal to us this month. And will they be spreading some new year joy? There’s only one way to find out…

Aries Mar 21 - Apr 20
The new year could see great opportunities coming your way. Although it’s much more likely to be the same old, same old! Sorry about that!
Lucky plastic: Polyester (PES)

Taurus Apr 21 - May 21
Sticking to that new year’s resolution you made might prove difficult this month. Best just give up now and save yourself the hassle of trying!
Lucky plastic: Polyethylene terephthalate (PET)

Gemini May 22 - Jun 22
Boredom, repetition, and a return to the mundane will play a big part in your life this month. Well, the holiday season has to end some time!
Lucky plastic: Polyurethanes (PU)

Cancer Jun 23 - Jul 23
Don’t waste your time thinking about what could have been this month - it’s pointless! Besides, your new regret should be more than enough to keep you busy!
Lucky plastic: Polyethylene (PE)

Leo Jul 24 - Aug 23
Remember: a January sale bargain is only a bargain if it’s something you need! 3 for 2 lawnmowers are seldom a wise purchase! You have been warned!
Lucky plastic: Polyvinyl chloride (PVC)

Virgo Aug 24 - Sep 23
The return to normality after the festive madness may seem like a welcome relief, but don’t get too complacent! There’s less than a year to go till the next one!
Lucky plastic: Polyvinylidene chloride (PVDC)

Libra Sep 24 - Oct 23
Now’s a good time to make some big changes in your life if you’ve been thinking of making some big changes in your life. But a bad time if you haven’t!
Lucky plastic: High-density polyethylene (HDPE)

Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 22
This month your horoscope prediction will be a pointless statement that doesn’t really go anywhere and is thoroughly uninsightful! Still, at least it’s honest!
Lucky plastic: Polystyrene (PS)

Sagittarius Nov 23 - Dec 21
Confusing what you want with what you need could spell your downfall this month! So you’ll need to think of what you need to want to find the solution you need!
Lucky plastic: Acrylonitrile butadiene styrene (ABS)

Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 20
While it’s true a joke can be a good way to lighten an awkward moment, it only really works well if that joke is funny. Remember this if you want to avoid an even more awkward moment!
Lucky plastic: Low-density polyethylene (LDPE)

Aquarius Jan 21 - Feb 19
A decision made in haste could have big ramifications in your life this month. So avoid making decisions in haste! Unless you like big ramifications, that is!
Lucky plastic: Polypropylene (PP)

Pisces Feb 20 - Mar 20
Amazing news! This month all horoscope predictions will apply specifically to you! So now you can read them all and take your pick! How cool is that?
Lucky plastic: Polycarbonate/Acrylonitrile Butadiene Styrene (PC/ABS)

Ahhhh… the mists return and the spirits depart once more. And it looks like the new year joy is in scant supply! But then again, what did you expect? Until we meet again dear readers,
Mystic Mascot :)