Thursday, September 1, 2011

Horoscopes for September 2011

written by Mystic Mascot
Ahhhh… the mists clear and the spirits join us once more. But just what will they have in store for us this month. Are there happy days ahead? There’s only one way to be sure. Read on, if you dare…

Aries Mar 21 - Apr 20
The expression “never count your chickens before they’ve hatched” could serve you well this month. Especially if you get your eggs from a supermarket!
Lucky length: 13 millimetres

Taurus Apr 21 - May 21
A weekend away in the sun may sound like a good idea, but the extreme temperatures of this celestial body make it a wholly impractical holiday destination! Stay realistic!
Lucky length: 4.6 miles

Gemini May 22 - Jun 22
Everybody makes mistakes from time to time, and unfortunately this month will prove to be your time - big time! Start preparing excuses now!
Lucky length: 200 yards

Cancer Jun 23 - Jul 23
Getting to know your neighbours is an admirable social endeavour. Doing so by relentlessly spying on them isn’t! Remember this distinction!
Lucky length: 36 centimetres

Leo Jul 24 - Aug 23
An old photograph from a fun night out could come back to haunt you this month. Double check your privacy settings now to avoid this! You know what I mean :)
Lucky length: 315 light-years

Virgo Aug 24 - Sep 23
Surprising a friend with a spontaneous gift is indeed a thoughtful gesture. Tattooing them while they’re sleeping on the other hand… not so much! Think on
Lucky length: 73 metres

Libra Sep 24 - Oct 23
An encounter with a man wearing a red hat could lead to an embarrassing situation this month. Or is it a green hat? Or blue? Best avoid all men just to be safe!
Lucky length: 14 feet

Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 22
A single shoe, a pencil sharpener, and an empty cereal packet will all play an important role in your life this month. Although, frankly, I’ve no idea how!
Lucky length: 600 kilometres

Sagittarius Nov 23 - Dec 21
An attempt to let your hair down could backfire on you this month. Remember: not everyone thinks free hugs are fun! You have been warned!
Lucky length: 2 inches

Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 20
Trying something for the first time that takes you out of your comfort zone can be a rewarding experience. Either that or a total nightmare! The decision is yours!
Lucky length: 58 furlongs

Aquarius Jan 21 - Feb 19
A moment of spontaneity could change your life in ways you could never imagine this month. Unfortunately, however, not for the better! Be predictable!
Lucky length: 1 light-second

Pisces Feb 20 - Mar 20
What seems like a good idea at night may not seem so clever in the morning. This is particularly true of Saturday nights and Sunday mornings. Remember this!
Lucky length: 33 cubits

Ahhhh… the mists return and the spirits take their leave. And it looks like the happy days are going to be few and far between! Still, at least it’s better than nothing happening at all! Until we meet again dear readers,
Mystic Mascot :)

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