Sunday, May 1, 2011

Horoscopes for May 2011

written by Mystic Mascot

Ahhhh… the mists clear and the spirits join us once again. But just what will they bring us this month? Will it be fortune? Will it be glory? To be honest, I doubt it! But let’s have a look anyway…

Aries Mar 21 - Apr 20
Blue skies, sunshine, and an afternoon picnic. What could possibly go wrong? Avoid buying insect repellent if you want to know the answer to this! Think on!
Lucky E Number: E100

Taurus Apr 21 - May 21
Making a strong and lasting first impression can sometimes be a good idea. Doing so by shouting and screaming until everyone notices you however… not so much! Remember this!
Lucky E Number: E417

Gemini May 22 - Jun 22
A heinous act of betrayal by a loved one could ruin your life this month. But thanks to a super injunction, you won’t know anything about it!
Lucky E Number: E951

Cancer Jun 23 - Jul 23
Being gracious and dignified in defeat will be the key to getting through this month unscathed. And believe me, there’s gonna be a lot of defeat around! Sorry!
Lucky E Number: E310

Leo Jul 24 - Aug 23
There is no shame in asking for help when you need it. Asking for help when you don’t need it, however, is a different thing entirely. It’s called laziness!
Lucky E Number: E173

Virgo Aug 24 - Sep 23
At some point this month you will read a pointless horoscope prediction. The experience, despite its uncanny accuracy, will be something of a letdown!
Lucky E Number: E284

Libra Sep 24 - Oct 23
Avoiding chimney sweeps will be the key to a successful month for you. Shouldn’t be too hard to do, unless you’re living in a Dickens novel!
Lucky E Number: E495

Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 22
Learning to laugh at yourself will make this month a whole lot easier. If you find this difficult, just pretend you’re someone else, and laugh at them instead!
Lucky E Number: E226

Sagittarius Nov 23 - Dec 21
Striving for perfection could spell your downfall this month. Try settling for second best or worse for a happier life! Problem solved!
Lucky E Number: E133

Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 20
Singing in front of an audience is very different from singing in the shower. So remember to put some clothes on when you attend that audition!
Lucky E Number: E307

Aquarius Jan 21 - Feb 19
A light bulb, a shoelace, and a hat stand will all play an important role in your fortune this month. Although, for the life of me, I can’t work out how!
Lucky E Number: E473

Pisces Feb 20 - Mar 20
Planning ahead will only get you so far this month. Try making it up as you go along if you want an easier life! That’s what I do :)
Lucky E Number: E155

Ahhhh… the mists return and the spirits take their leave once more. And it doesn’t look like they had too much fortune and glory for us after all! Well, I did try to warn you! Until we meet again dear readers,
Mystic Mascot :)