Friday, May 13, 2011

Blooming Blogger!

Ask a Mascot

Dear Ed Mascot,

I’m a 14 year old boy who’s about to start my own blog. I’ve been searching everywhere online for advice about how to do it properly - you know, to avoid the pitfalls that others have fallen into! Anyway, whilst conducting this search, a friend of mine suggested I should get in touch with you since you’ve been successfully running a blog for the last 2 years. Although, strangely, she did seem to be stifling hysterical laughter as she used the word “successfully”! And so, with my previous revelation very much in my mind, I hesitantly ask you… do you have any top tips for bloggers?

Yours sincerely,
Jamie K Crupmleton.

Ed Mascot replies...

Do I have any top tips for bloggers? Jamie, you’re only asking the number 1 blog host with the blog most! The Blog-Meister! Captain Blog! The one, the only… the Ed Mascot! So cast aside those blogging fears, young man, because here come my top 5 tips for running a successful blog…

1. Take it seriously! As a blogger you have a responsibility to your readers to always check your facts and statistics! It’s estimated that 73.45% of all bloggers forget to do this! And the remaining 35.62% just make them up and think no one will notice!

2. Avoid repetition! Always keep your blog fresh, and never repeat yourself! There’s nothing that’s going to put off readers more than some doofus of a blogger writing the same thing twice!

3. Avoid repetition! Always keep your blog fresh, and never repeat yourself! There’s nothing that’s going to put off readers more than some doofus of a blogger writing the same thing twice!

4. Spell-check everything! It may seem obvious, but you’d be surprised how many first time bloggers forget to do this! It only takes a second and, in this day and age, there really is no excuss for errorrs!

5. Never rant! Nobody likes reading a rant! Rants are pointless and stupid and serve absolutely no purpose whatsoever! But does anybody try to stop them? Oh no! They just sit back and do nothing while some moron with a keyboard goes off on one! I mean honestly, if I had a penny for every rant I’ve ever had to wade through on a blog, I’d be a very rich mascot indeed! But you don’t get pennies for wading through rants, do you? Oh no, that would be too much like a good idea! And ranters don’t like good ideas! They just like to assume they’re right and everyone else is wrong! I mean, seriously, why am I the only person in the world that sees this?

So there you go Jamie, my top 5 tips for running a successful blog! And as an added bonus I’ll give you one more tip for free: always make sure embedded videos clips are relevant to your posts…


See? That’s how we professionals do it! Good luck with the blog Jamie, and be sure to get in touch again if you ever need any more advice from the master. I’m always happy to help!

Your blogging buddy,
Ed Mascot :)

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