I’m not usually one to get carried away with the Christmas spirit, but after reading your recent joyful responses to your newly received festive gifts (Re. Freaky Christmas Card! and Freaky Wrapping Paper!) I couldn’t help but feel the pull of Santa’s reindeer on the previously cold dead reins that were my heartstrings! So much so that I decided I too should furnish you with a gift. And here it is…
Yes, you’ve guessed it, it’s a Christmas cracker with your face on it! Unfortunately however, in my haste to create this wondrous piece, I forgot to put anything inside it! I realise this is quite a major flaw as far as cracker designs go but, what with you being a total oddball freak and all, I didn’t think you’d mind too much. Well… it is the thought that counts after all!
Season’s greetings, Albert Humbleton. Aged 87.
Unbelievable! Just when I thought this Christmas couldn’t get any better, along comes Albert with another present! Thanks Albert! And don’t worry about there being nothing inside the cracker, I wasn’t planning on pulling it anyway! You see, just between us, I’ve always thought I look kinda weird in a paper hat :)