Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Horoscopes for September 2010

written by Mystic Mascot

Ahhhh… the mists clear and the spirits enter. Will they be bringing us fortunate tidings? Or will they be bringing us horrid forebodings? There’s only one way to be sure! Read on, if you dare…

Aries Mar 21 - Apr 20
Not all that glitters is gold. Sometimes it’s just glitter! Keep this in mind to avoid disappointment, and don’t quit your job until you’re sure!
Lucky monkey: Guatemalan Black Howler Monkey

Taurus Apr 21 - May 21
An encounter with a group of pigeons has the potential to cause you great embarrassment. Avoid this by telling people it’s a Jackson Pollock t-shirt!
Lucky monkey: Red-backed Bearded Saki Monkey

Gemini May 22 - Jun 22
A lottery win could change your life for the better in ways you couldn’t possibly imagine! Although it’s very unlikely to happen! Sorry!
Lucky monkey: Black-striped Capuchin Monkey

Cancer Jun 23 - Jul 23
The carrot is sometimes better than the stick! Particularly when cooking! Remember this when those unexpected guests turn up for dinner!
Lucky monkey: Superagui Lion Tamarin Monkey

Leo Jul 24 - Aug 23
The expression “fast food” refers to the serving time of the meal, so don’t be too disappointed when your burger just sits there doing nothing!
Lucky monkey: Barbara Brown's Titi Monkey

Virgo Aug 24 - Sep 23
Swimming is a good way to stay in shape. Doing it in a strangers pool without permission is a good way to get arrested! Remember this distinction!
Lucky monkey: Red-handed Howler Monkey

Libra Sep 24 - Oct 23
An encounter with an irate omelette chef has the potential to leave you with egg on your face! Avoid irate omelette chefs and you should be OK!
Lucky monkey: Mottle-faced Tamarin Monkey

Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 22
A mix up at the supermarket will you see you leave with someone else’s shopping. Luckily they’ll have bought the same things as you, so you won’t know it’s happened!
Lucky monkey: Prince Bernhard's Titi Monkey

Sagittarius Nov 23 - Dec 21
A shadowy figure from your past will come back to haunt you this month. Best book a holiday now to avoid this! You have been warned!
Lucky monkey: Golden-bellied Capuchin Monkey

Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 20
Good news! That thing you’ve been wishing would happen is finally going to happen! Bad news! Unfortunately it’s going to happen to someone else!
Lucky monkey: Collared Titi Monkey

Aquarius Jan 21 - Feb 19
Doing it yourself is a good way to save money. It is not however a good way to save time! Remember this if you are in a hurry!
Lucky monkey: Black-capped Squirrel Monkey

Pisces Feb 20 - Mar 20
Now’s a good time for a career change, if you’ve been thinking about a career change. If you haven’t been thinking of a career change, then don’t bother!
Lucky monkey: Uta Hick's Bearded Saki Monkey

Ahhhh… the mists return, and the spirits depart once more. But did they bring you what you wanted? Are you set for four weeks of fun? Or are you braced for four weeks of fear? Until we meet again dear readers,
Mystic Mascot :)

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