Thursday, July 1, 2010

Horoscopes for July 2010

written by Mystic Mascot

Ahhhh… the mists clear and the spirits join us once again. What wonders will they bring to us this month? Will they bring joy? Or will they bring woe? Or will they bring some third option that I can’t quite think of at the moment? There’s only one way to find out. Read on, if you dare…

Aries Mar 21 - Apr 20
Luck is heading your way thick and fast this month! Although unfortunately most of it is going to be of the bad variety! Sorry!
Lucky star sign: Capricorn

Taurus Apr 21 - May 21
An unfortunate overheard conversation has the potential to cause you great embarrassment this month. So just make sure you really have hung up before you start it!
Lucky star sign: Virgo

Gemini May 22 - Jun 22
Making a whole outfit out of an old pair of curtains may indeed be a good way of beating the credit crunch. But is it really suitable attire for a wedding? Think on!
Lucky star sign: Pisces

Cancer Jun 23 - Jul 23
Reading your horoscopes will be a complete and utter waste of time this month. Still… at least now you’ll know not to bother!
Lucky star sign: Aquarius

Leo Jul 24 - Aug 23
A once familiar friend will make a welcome reappearance on July 12th. It’ll be called a normal TV schedule! Hurrah - no more World Cup!
Lucky star sign: Scorpio

Virgo Aug 24 - Sep 23
A faked moment of forgetfulness could lead to a memorable moment this month. Just be sure you remember to forget to remember at the right moment. Otherwise, forget it!
Lucky star sign: Sagittarius

Libra Sep 24 - Oct 23
You’re right. Buying in bulk is a good way to save money. But there are limits! And besides, do you really need 16 lawnmowers? I’m just saying!
Lucky star sign: Taurus

Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 22
Avoiding reading stuff whot has been wrote all bad, ands got bad spellin and fings is whots going to get you thru this month unscaved. Wooops!
Lucky star sign: Aires

Sagittarius Nov 23 - Dec 21
A hat is a good idea when trying to protect yourself from the sun. A ski mask on the other hand… not so much! Remember this when attending that school fete!
Lucky star sign: Libra

Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 20
A spur of the moment suggestion for a fun day out has the potential to end in severe disappointment. Best pretend you’ve got a headache and avoid the whole thing!
Lucky star sign: Leo

Aquarius Jan 21 - Feb 19
It’s big, it’s gray, it’s got four legs, and a trunk. Avoid thinking about this animal and you should get through this month just fine! What? I tried to warn you!
Lucky star sign: Cancer

Pisces Feb 20 - Mar 20
Good news! That wish you made as 7 year old is about to come true! Bad news! Never brushing your teeth again isn’t quite as good as you imagined!
Lucky star sign: Gemini

Ahhhh… the mists return, and the spirits leave. But did they bring you what you wanted? They didn’t? Oh well! Whaddya gonna do? Until we meet again,
Mystic Mascot :)

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