Saturday, May 1, 2010

Horoscopes for May 2010

written by Mystic Mascot

Ahhhh… the mists clear and the spirits return. Yes readers, it’s that time of the month again - the time to find out your future fortunes and forecasts! But will our guides make dreams come true, or is it nightmares oh so blue? Read on, if you dare…

Aries Mar 21 - Apr 20
Great news! A recent bout of tedium and repetition will come to an end this month! And hopefully we won’t see any more electioneering for another four years!
Lucky cake: Butterfly

Taurus Apr 21 - May 21
Recycling is a great way to preserve the world’s resources! Making a soup from bathwater isn’t! Remember this distinction when trying to impress that new ager!
Lucky cake: Coffee

Gemini May 22 - Jun 22
The phrase “have a nice day” is merely an expression of social pleasantry, not a contractually binding agreement! So don’t feel too bad when it all goes wrong!
Lucky cake: Lemon

Cancer Jun 23 - Jul 23
A question from a stranger has the potential to cause you great embarrassment this month. Just remember - you don’t have to tell the pollsters how you voted!
Lucky cake: Eccles

Leo Jul 24 - Aug 23
Jumping up and down and screaming isn’t always the best way to get what you want! And besides, it makes you look ridiculous! What? I’m just saying!
Lucky cake: Fruit

Virgo Aug 24 - Sep 23
A business lunch at a posh restaurant could go disastrously wrong for you! Learn to speak French right now, just to be on the safe side!
Lucky cake: Pastel petits fours

Libra Sep 24 - Oct 23
Avoid adages, sayings, and proverbs if you want to survive this month unscathed! And remember… a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush! Woops!
Lucky cake: Cheese

Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 22
An unshakable and unsettling sense of deja vu will relentlessly haunt your every move this month. Or was it last month?
Lucky cake: Upside-down

Sagittarius Nov 23 - Dec 21
An impulsive buy has the potential to leave you embarrassed and out of pocket in the coming weeks! Remember - magic beans only exist in fairy tales!
Lucky cake: Marble

Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 20
Learning from your mistakes is the best way to accumulate knowledge. And by the end of this month, you’re going to be very knowledgeable indeed! Sorry!
Lucky cake: Potato

Aquarius Jan 21 - Feb 19
A malfunctioning belt could spell your downfall this month, in more ways than one! Now’s a good time to buy some dungarees!
Lucky cake: Sponge

Pisces Feb 20 - Mar 20
A horoscope prediction will change your life for the better in unimaginable ways this month! Although, ironically, I’ve no idea how!
Lucky cake: Chocolate

Ahhhh… the mists return and the spirits, yet again, take their leave. Did they bring you good fortune? Are your dreams coming true? Until our paths next cross,
Mystic Mascot :)

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