Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Horoscopes for December 2009

written by Mystic Mascot

Ahhhh… the mists are clearing once again and this month they’re revealing something rather special - it’s the Ghost of Christmas Now! Yes readers, the time for speculation is over! Join me and my festive spirit friend as we present to you your holiday horoscopes…

Aries Mar 21 - Apr 20
Indigestion and bellyaches await the greedy reveller this holiday season. Remember this when unwrapping those boxes of chocolates!
Lucky Christmas present: 12 Drummers Drumming

Taurus Apr 21 - May 21
Buying your loved one clothes may seem like a good idea, but if you don’t know their size forget it! Seriously, don’t even try!
Lucky Christmas present: 11 Pipers Piping

Gemini May 22 - Jun 22
The shop may describe it as the perfect “for her” gift but, generally speaking, women usually have enough candles to be getting on with. Just letting you know!
Lucky Christmas present: 10 Lords A-leaping

Cancer Jun 23 - Jul 23
The shop may describe it as the perfect “for him” gift but, generally speaking, men have no need for slippers shaped like beer cans. Again, just letting you know!
Lucky Christmas present: 9 Ladies Dancing

Leo Jul 24 - Aug 23
While it’s true that kids love toys, very few of them actually consider educational books to be part of this group. You have been warned!
Lucky Christmas present: 8 Maids A-milking

Virgo Aug 24 - Sep 23
Perfumes, colognes, and toiletries are always good gift ideas at this time of year. Family sized packs of super saver soaps on the other hand… not so much.
Lucky Christmas present: 7 Swans A-swimming

Libra Sep 24 - Oct 23
A small glass of sherry before Christmas lunch is an acceptable aperitif. A bottle of sherry isn’t! Best remember this to avoid embarrassment.
Lucky Christmas present: 6 Geese A-laying

Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 22
We all have to make sacrifices in life, and Christmas is no exception. Welcome to the wonderful world of sprouts!
Lucky Christmas present: 5 Golden Rings

Sagittarius Nov 23 - Dec 21
A blazing row has the potential to ruin Christmas day. Be sure to answer the question “how was your lunch?” very carefully! And, if necessary, lie!
Lucky Christmas present: 4 Calling Birds

Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 20
Seeing daddy dressed up as Santa Claus is a great treat for the kids at Christmas. Propping up the bar in a Santa suit isn’t. Remember this distinction!
Lucky Christmas present: 3 French Hens

Aquarius Jan 21 - Feb 19
A mysterious card from an unknown couple will arrive at your door this Christmas. Don’t worry though, this happens to everyone :)
Lucky Christmas present: 2 Turtle Doves

Pisces Feb 20 - Mar 20
Party hats from crackers are not actually real hats. Remember this if you want to keep your hair dry over the festive season!
Lucky Christmas present: Socks

Ahhhh… the mists return and the Ghost of Christmas Now takes his leave. Did your festive wishes come true? Until we meet in the next year,
Mystic Mascot :)

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