Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Horoscopes for September 2009

written by Mystic Mascot

Ahhhh… the mists are clearing. Gazing into my crystal ball I can see your futures appear before me like shadowy figures in the night. They may bring joy or they may bring woe, but they will always bring the truth. Read on, if you dare…

Aries Mar 21 - Apr 20
A long planned day out has the potential to end in despair and disappointment. Invest in an umbrella if you want to avoid this!
Lucky sandwich: Ham and pickle

Taurus Apr 21 - May 21
Wedding bells are thick in the air this month, so be sure to keep your head down. Getting hit by one of them can really hurt!
Lucky sandwich: Egg

Gemini May 22 - Jun 22
A once familiar and welcoming place will suddenly change leading to confusion and disorientation. Still… that’s supermarkets for you!
Lucky sandwich: Chicken salad (if you can find it!)

Cancer Jun 23 - Jul 23
A cat, a mat, a hat, a flat, a bat, and a rat will all play an important part in your life this month. Although I’ve no idea how!
Lucky sandwich: Cucumber

Leo Jul 24 - Aug 23
I’m getting numbers… 3, 5, 13, 15, 20 and 30. Congratulations! You’re either going to win the lottery or buy some new fuses!
Lucky sandwich: Cheese and tomato

Virgo Aug 24 - Sep 23
Weekends of misery and disappointment await you this month. Avoid watching Saturday night TV and you should be OK.
Lucky sandwich: Peanut butter

Libra Sep 24 - Oct 23
An embarrassing incident involving a well known celebrity will present itself. Be sure to have a camera ready if you want to make a quick buck!
Lucky sandwich: Banana

Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 22
A mix up at a restaurant will result in three puddings coming your way. Best hold off on that diet until next month!
Lucky sandwich: Bacon

Sagittarius Nov 23 - Dec 21
An unexpected trip to the theatre will surprise you this month. It will still be really boring, but at least you’ll stay awake!
Lucky sandwich: Marmalade

Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 20
A treasured item you long thought lost will suddenly reappear. Buy some fresh batteries and you’ll be channel surfing in no time!
Lucky sandwich: Prawn

Aquarius Jan 21 - Feb 19
Good intentions will have a nasty habit of backfiring this month. Just act really selfishly and you should keep everyone happy!
Lucky sandwich: Tuna

Pisces Feb 20 - Mar 20
An unflattering photograph will cause you great distress. Still… cameras are all digital nowadays. Just delete it and take another one!
Lucky sandwich: Sausage

Ahhhh… the mists return and the shadow people retreat for another month. Did they bring you good fortune? Until our paths next cross,
Mystic Mascot :)

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