Monday, August 10, 2009

A Nerd in Need!

Ask a Mascot

Dear Robot Mascot,

I was wondering if you could help me with a problem I’m having. You see, I’m a complete geek. I live in a world of DVD boxsets, vintage comic books, and unopened action figures. What’s more I’ve never had a girlfriend and, very probably, never will. But enough about my idyllic private life, here’s my problem…

While posting on one of my favourite sci-fi forums, I got into a raging flame war with some clown that calls himself TrekkBoy403. I know, he’s spelt Trek wrong! What a doofus! Anyway, this ignoramus reckons that robots don’t, and never will, have a sense of humour. He says that Asimov’s first law of robotics precludes robots from making jokes because humour, empirically, has to have a “victim.” Ergo, a robot will never make a funny because it may cause a human “harm.” Crazy, huh? Clearly this buffoon is as ignorant of the dynamics of joke telling as he is of the complexities of artificial intelligence, not to mention the underlying resilience and consequent sublimation of human emotions regarding the cerebral processing of humorous anecdotes and situations. Please help me prove this fool wrong so I can put this matter to bed, once and for all!

Yours sincerely,

Robot Mascot replies...

Rest easy HanFan709, you are indeed correct! It is possible for robots to have a sense of humour, and tell jokes! What’s more, I’m going to prove it. Here’s my personal favourite top 5 hilarious jokes to rub in the face of TrekkBoy403…

1. Q. What’s brown and sticky? A. A stick!

2. Q. What do puddings fly in? A. Jelly-copters!

3. Q. Who’s the king of the hankies? A. The hanky-chief!

4. Q. How do you restrain pigs? A. Ham-cuffs!

5. Q. Where do Americans dance? A. San Frandisco!

And if these corkers aren’t enough to show that misguided sour puss the error of his ways, let him take a look at this. It’s a bunch of robots having a right good laugh at mankind’s pitiful potato preparations…

Hope all this helps you out HanFan709. Be sure to get in touch again if you ever have any more robot related problems. What? It might happen!

Your friendly friend of the geeks,
Robot Mascot :)

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