Monday, June 1, 2009

Horoscopes for June 2009

written by Mystic Mascot

Ahhhh… the mists are clearing! I can see you all so clearly now. Your fates are like an open book to me. Your wants are like chapters. Your desires are like words. Your needs are like… commas or full stops or something. Take heed and listen to my words of wisdom if you want to survive the next four weeks…

Aries Mar 21 - Apr 20
A chance meeting with an old school friend will lead to an awkward and boring conversation. Just cross the road!
Lucky number: 7

Taurus Apr 21 - May 21
Now’s a good time to buy a hat if you’ve been thinking about buying a hat. Otherwise, don’t bother!
Lucky number: 24

Gemini May 22 - Jun 22
Romance is thick in the air this month, though sadly not for you! Prepare for heartbreak and disappointment.
Lucky number: 0

Cancer Jun 23 - Jul 23
An unfortunate incident with a monkey will see your favourite top ruined. Avoid zoos, unless you like being laughed at!
Lucky number: 16

Leo Jul 24 - Aug 23
Absolute accuracy is the key to surviving this month. Measure twice and cut once if you want to succeed.
Lucky number: 32.154369

Virgo Aug 24 - Sep 23
An opportunity to make a fortune will present itself to you. If it arrives by email, forget it! Trust me!
Lucky number: 9

Libra Sep 24 - Oct 23
An innocent suggestion will lead to embarrassment on an unparalleled scale. Tread carefully to avoid misunderstandings.
Lucky number: 476

Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 22
A moment of indecision will lead to a lifetime of regret. Say yes to everything this month, or possibly no.
Lucky number: 4

Sagittarius Nov 23 - Dec 21
An uninvited guest will ruin a perfectly good night in. Don’t answer the door and you should be fine.
Lucky number: 58

Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 20
An encounter with a clown will have life changing consequences. They won’t be good. Cancel that circus trip now!
Lucky number: 73

Aquarius Jan 21 - Feb 19
Good news! You’ll remember that important thing you’ve forgotten. Bad news! It turns out it’s not that important after all.
Lucky number: 3

Pisces Feb 20 - Mar 20
Absolutely nothing interesting or eventful will happen to you this month. But never mind, things might pick up in July!
Lucky number: N/A

Ahhhh… the mists return and the book closes for another month. I bid you farewell and wish you good fortune until our paths next cross,
Mystic Mascot :)

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