Thursday, May 21, 2009

Help Me! I've Been Rumbled!

Ask a Mascot

Dear Money Mascot,

As an M.P. I rarely ask people for their opinions, and listen to them even less! Lately however I’ve found them impossible to ignore, which brings me to my problem. I used to have this really sweet deal goin’ on where I’d buy whatever I liked and the taxpayer would pick up the tab – it was rockin’! Dog food, moat repairs, hotel bills, everything! Talk about easy street! Anyway, now some hack’s gone and published all this in his rag and “the man” reckons I’m gonna have to pay it all back! I was hoping you could give me some money saving tips ‘cause, believe me, things aint lookin’ good!

Yours sincerely,
Richard Winterbottom M.P.
Northbrough, South East.

Money Mascot replies...

Wow! Sounds like you’re really up the proverbial creek buddy, and deservedly so, if you don’t mind me saying! That said, you’ve definitely come to the right place for practical money saving tips. Here’s my top 5:

1. Start hopping! Hopping makes pairs of shoes last twice as long, and is also a great way to get in shape!

2. Making a cup of tea and a meal? Why not kill two birds with one stone and stick your potatoes in the kettle. Saves money and energy! It also gives your tea that delicious potato-ey flavour. Yum!

3. Stop shaving! The money saved on razors alone, not to mention shaving cream and after shave, will be astronomical! And everyone loves a beard!

4. Don’t bother buying those flashy belts and shoelaces that celebs are always banging on about. Walk to the beat of your own drum by using a piece of old rope and two bits of string! Stylish!

5. Bags for life can also be used as cushions for life. Simply fill them with old rags, when you’re not using them for shopping, and watch the money roll in as you never have to buy a cushion again! You can pick up bags/cushions for life at the KawaiiPunk CafePress Shop. Look…

KawaiiPunk Bags
Hope these tips help you out Richard, and remember kids – ripping off the taxpayer to tune of tens of thousands of pounds isn’t cool! Probably shouldn’t stick potatoes in your kettle either, now that I think about it!

See you all again soon.
Your friendly financial advisor,
Money Mascot :)

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